Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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