You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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