I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
