I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize