Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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