You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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