i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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