I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
