easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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