So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
