So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
