i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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