I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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