For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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