Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
