Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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