oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize