i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
