Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
