what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
