It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
