you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
