How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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