then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
