Don't you send me to vm
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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