I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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