just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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