arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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