get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Let's get the cat blown out
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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