if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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