I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
