Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
