i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
