I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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