To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
