i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize