real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
