i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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