Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
