I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
