How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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