Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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