Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
