You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
