Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
