he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
