You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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