I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
