his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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