never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We are all done wearing pants today
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
