Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
