you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
