hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
