if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
and you said cock pushups were impossible
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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