eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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