Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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