Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize