Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
