Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
