My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just pynch a tree in the face
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
