Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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