What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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