Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
