That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
