she smelled like a LAN party
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize