Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
