you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
