how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
