I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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