i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My life is pants optional.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
