New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
