rhymes with "ouble enetration"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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