What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My breasts were aching with rage.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
