WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
no you cant smoke seaweed
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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