One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
