im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
