i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
