we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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