Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I regularly think about how cool your nickname is

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(248): View more from Michigan

i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.

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(850): View more from Florida

TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.

(407): View more from Florida

i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.

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(757): View more from Virginia

tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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(510): View more from California

I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college

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(314): View more from Missouri

"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.

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(434): View more from Virginia

You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.

(615): View more from Tennessee

Shriek

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