Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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