maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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